Sandy,
I seem to dwell on all of the things that I should of/could have done better when it comes to our life together.
I screwed up too many times to even count. As I look back, there are so many times I could have made your life better.
I was obsessed with planning for our future that I all too often forgot the present. Then when the future came, either my health or your health held us back.
I guess my only defense is that I tried to give you a good life. I think I did but I am also too damned aware of the shortcomings that I could have corrected if I was not so focused on the future and, instead, focused on the now.
I am truly sorry but, at the same time, we had eight years together after I retired, day and night. I would not trade that for anything.
So my shortcomings bother me a lot. I wish I could correct them. But that is hindsight. I do NOT regret a minute I spent with you. That is selfish, but so be it.